When all you have is you...

With our country's wellfare and insurance systems in place, with professionals to assist when others can't, with laws to protect you and demand you receive proper care in difficult times. With volunteers that have golden hearts and family that desires the very best for you, due to my life in safety, care and love, I had not entertained the reality of life without any of this. Until now.

One of our children, Jean Paul had become very sick. The doctors say it was witchcraft that caused him to look in the eyes of death. "The boy from the hopeless family" they called him at the hospital, other called him the "dead-boy". His features reminded me of the pictures on tv from the 1984 Ethiopia famine. Big eyes laying deep in their hollow eye sockets. Hip bones pointing through the cloths. Arms and legs that are no more than bones with a thin layer of skin to make it look human. Mouth and teeth crusted from dehydration.

An empty IV bag by his bed. Other patients begging me: "Take the boy for he wil die tomorrow."

After a more than 6 hour fight with lazy medical personal who did not show any concern nor care for their patients, and especially did not care for "the dead boy" we had convinced them to get an ambulance readu so we could transport Jean Paul to Kigali, where we could care for him and make sure he would receive the care he needs in order to save his life.

Jean Paul will survive! He is recovering from a double surgery, where maggets and other "black things" that are related to witchcraft (according to the doctor), were taken out of his stomach. He is eating well now and will soon be released form the hospital.

As Jean Paul is recovering he has made some conclusions that break my heart:

"Nor my father nor my mother have visited me, he said with tears in his eyes. My brother stole from the children and spend the money from sold items on prostitutes, not my medicine. My sister wears my cloths and buys buscuits for herself all the time, and I lay here naked and hungry.

The people who have received money to support me over the last years have not asked about my wellbeing, nor visited me in all these weeks.

I do not dream about my future, because to want, means to get hurt."

When we asked him what stood out as postivie to him within the current situation he replied: Mama and Papa Nani and Stella are the only people that have ever cared for me and loved me. To be together is what makes me want to live and dream!"

What can I say... When people around you are so busy to survive their trauma's and poverty and simply can not care about those around them as it hinders their own survival, and all you have is you...

I know that some of you know these feelings, I know those feelings. When you cry for help and no-one seems to hear you. When you stop dreaming because your dreams have been crushed too many times. When you suffer yet no-one reaches out to help you.

May Jean Paul's final conlusion of truth become your conclusion and testimony of truth:

"I know God loves me and has plans for my life, because when I was going to die He send people to make sure I was going to come back to life. I have seen God, I know He is true!"

For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans of hope and a future. Jeremia 29:11

This is what it is about!

Trauma relief they call it here. Freedom from the consequences of genocide, of war, freedom from the pain of severe trauma. You may think this works mostly with adults and only after long counseling sessions. Yet the contrary is true.

Let me share with you the most amazing work I have seen God do in the 2,5 years of living in Rwanda.

Due to chaos inflicted by the former primary care giver on the children and even the Rwaza community, I had to make an urgency trip up to be with the children and spend a long weekend with them. One night as part of the weekly program, Stella, our Program Supervisor who lives full time with the Rwaza children, lead us in a simple Kinyarwandan song inviting God to touch us and meet us during the time of intercession. And HE DID!! As the children started praying simple selfless prayers the presence of the Lord touched many of us. Some of the children and myself became emotional. As the prayers became more fervent and specific many of us poured out our emotions to the Father. Than all of a sudden one of the 14 year old boys asked Stella: “Why is mama crying as she prays for us? Not even our own mothers have ever cried for us!”
Needless to say a new wave of emotion filled the room. I took the opportunity to remind them of their prayers way before we knew them, prayers for change and hope. How the Lord called us specifically to care for them and bring justice, even before we knew what was truly going on in the place and so answered their prayers. I shared how we have grown to love them like our own children as we have come to know them so well, how Jesus truly loves them and he keeps answering their prayers.

It was a message of hope that God has answered once and will answer again and of love of the Father expressed through us and Stella.

Tears started to flow freely, some children even grabbed towels to scream and cry in. The tears changed to a deep mourning and of grief, sadness just filled the tiny room we were in. It was so heartbreaking. Their grief was so heavy, their cries so intense. Sobbing children on their knees expressing the pain they carried for so long. The injustices and abuses they have experienced, I know I saw but a glimpse of the pain of it all in that moment. I cried with the children as we geared our cries to our Heavenly Father. Asking Him to intervene and to replace the pain of the bad things with His truth, to take our sadness and replace it with hope and peace, and again HE DID. Within 5 minutes all children were clapping, dancing and singing with hope and joy. We all laughed and hugged that night.
That night all children slept extremely well and all without nightmares! (has not happened before). The next morning I woke up at 5 am to the sound of the 14 year old boy interceding passionately for all the children, for the prior caregivers still living on the compound, for the Lord to give SoZo Ministries Africa land so we can build for the children and take them to a safe place. He thanked God that though many people claimed the kids in the past, no-one had ever claimed their hearts, but now he has a hope for a future of love and care!

You know these kiddos are anywhere from 2 through 14 years old. When God comes and touches people he will set them free from pain, from trauma, from nightmares and oppression. Physical healings will happen.

It is called trauma relief by those who do not understand what truly happens when they encounter a touch from the Creator of Heaven and earth.

The joy that filled that same room only minutes after it was filled with grief was a very strong reminder to me of the initial visions with which God opened our hearts and eyes for Rwanda. Reminding me, it has nothing to do with my ability or lack off. It was as if God was winking at me, letting me know; this is only the beginning of the move of My Hand through Rwanda! Get ready!

Under Attack

After visiting our 24 kids in Rwaza and some very productive and pro-active meetings with various people that day, all leading to the betterment of the future of the children, we drove back to Kigila, satisfied and knowing the attack would come.

You see almost every time after we have made progress concerning our 24 children we find ourselfs under attack. Something will always happen to discourage us. We know that has we taking these children away from witchcraft, abuse and traditional medicins (is form of wicthcraft), we are taking them from a dark spiritual situation and bring them into light and freedom that Christ offers them.

Hence we know who is the one is trying to discourage us, even to the point of trying to cause us to die.

We had warned the two pastors who we network with that attck would come as usual. And sure enough, about an hour's drive before reaching Kigali the steering of our car broke. Travis was able to stop the vehivle just in time before crashing into a valley. It was a matter of less then an inch (2cm) before we would have crashed down.

The far left child is standing on the tire track of where we came to an abrubt stop.

We were in the middle of no-where. Curious children looked on while Travis and Pastor Joseph came up with a temporary fix to get the car to a place where more tools were available.
The joint had snapped and was in need of welding. With a temporary fix of some rubber string tied to keep the joint somewhat in place we drove at super slow speed to the nearest village.
The welder used to weld the joint together!
Pastor Joseph and Travis working together on a car part. We jokingly called this time a Godly Bonding time. But really that is what we thank God for.
A little "garage" behind the market place. It was yet another scary event with yet another breakdown that is called "odd". We thank God that the steering stopped where it did. We see the miracle of God's protection basically every time we go on the road. Sometimes in small ways, other times in very big ways as this day.

But really, if I would have to give up my life for the sake of those 24 children... Would I? Is it a sacrifice I am willing to make? God asked me to "bring justice to my children" as I was visiting Rwaza the very first time. Now I am the primary caregiver of the children. I did not understand what God was asking of me at first, but as I stepped out in obedience and found the truth concerning the children, their lives and the ongoing abuses I started to see what God was asking of me. Now the spiritual war is on over these children. Knowing they all know what true love is like now as they all know Jesus and have the full time care of someone who truely loves them as they are, I feel I would indeed be willing to lay down my life for these children. They are Rwanda's future. A generation of God fearing, tribe ignoring, reconciled youngsters! I thank God for the attacks. As pastor Jospeh said yesterday: where satan is not afraid, he does not attack!

P.S. We do need a new car , suitable for bad roads, very badly though!!!

An Unforgettable Christmas... continued

Lots of dancing!
Opening of the gift boxes. Cheers of joy and amazement were heard throughout the room! The buddies helped to children to understand that you do not eat lipgloss even when it smells like strawberried and that playdough is not a lotion for your skin!

Erin and Beatrice looking at the pictures of Erin's parents who are part of the church sending the boxes.
New cloths. Every child received new cloths. This boy came in a dress to the party as they had ran out of clean cloths that morning. Now he looked the way he should: a handsome young boy.

An Unforgettable Christmas... cont.

These children were looking like VIP's in their new outfits, and they knew it!

Thank you Julie and your team that came to Rwanda earlier this year and blessed us with cloths for the children!

The Team helping us with the children were such a blessing to us and the kids! Thanks Guys!

After watching a slide show about Jesus' life and why we need him, we ministered to all the children. All of them gave their lifes to Jesus, including our 5 service staff that work with the children!

An Unforgettable Christmas... continued.

After much more singing and dancing a buffet was ready for the children. Fish, French Fries, Meat, vegetables, soup and soda's as much as they wanted! These children of the King ate a royal meal! Just as they deserve!

The children had no space in their tummies left, they all ate so much. Tired but happy they waved goodbye as the bus brought them back to Rwaza. They sang all the way home:"Come to Rwaza and see, see the good things that are happening to us, come...."

Still hearing their shouts of joy, their laughter and songs in my head we drove back home also. It has been a a very long, but unforgettable day!

Those who have bought SoZo Bags; this party was made possible because of you! Thank You!

Friends and Rwaza

Ishimwe, almost 2. Found abandonend on the Rwaza compound.

You know, when other catch your vision and come along side you... it is awesome.

We were blessed with a team from Windham, New Hempsire who brought an amazing amount of blessings for the children in Rwaza. From toys and crayons to t-shirts and crafts. The children had so much fun getting their nails done, making their caps and playing soccer. We had brought food as usual and the team had bought extra beans and rice! It was a true party! Thanks friends from NH, you blessed not just the kids, but also us as you have come along side us and catch on to our vision! God bless you for your love for the children!

"My Children"

It is always with excitement and joy that I prepare to visit "my children". Yes the 21 orphans in Rwaza, have captured my heart. They have called me "mami" for awhile, everytime it cut through my heart when they would say the word. I tried to protect my heart and not get to attached to these children. I tried to ignore the mother in me screaming at me to release my heart to love them.

The words of my teachers go through my head; "you should never become too attached to those who need your counsil and help, it dilutes your professional observations and diagnosis". Studies have proven that children who received motherly love develop better in over all life and will have healthier families of their own. There are the statistics of those who have grown up under institutional care and the lack of motherly love, they scare me. And I realize that I cannot get attached enough to these children. They need my motherly love, I might be one of the only mother who can give it to them on a consistant basis. They need my heart to be open for them. They need me to teach them the things only a mother can teach. It hurts because I am fully aware of the sufferings these children endure. The lack of basic love, care and food. My heart aches, it would be so easy to remain detached, but I made the choice, my heart adopted 21 children.It was a special day today as we had received care-bears from ...... The children in the vacation bible school had made these bears with the my Rwaza children in mind. Little notes were placed in a pouch on the bear speaking of Jesus his love for the child and a small note from the child who had carefully made the bear. My kids could not comprehend that American children would care for them to make such bears! They clapped for joy and excitement when they realized they are known, they matter and other children pray for them!

Nani and Zoey gave all children a bear. Seeing their servant hearts without any jealousy or envy of the blessing they gave away blessed me all the more!
"I will sleep with my bear tonight 11 year old Emmanuel exclaimed. My note came from Alex, can you send him my photo, I love him so much, you must tell him thank you from me, 14 year old Gilbert was so sweet and excited to know that someone loves him!
Little Otis, 4 yrs old is always playing with a knife. He is such a tough boy, a fighter for sure, yet he embraced his bear and did not let go. You see, boys like him need mothers who love them, even if that means a knife in one hand and a bear in the other.

Though there was great joy, lunch made me wanna cry. Sweet potatos with may be 15 beans per child... A good filler, but no nutrition. The children were sure glad to see the sambosa's (big meat filled dumplings) and banana's. For dinner we had brought them more banana's and eggs.
Nani and Zoey are serving the children banana's.
My noughty daughters made a little fire with some of their friends. It cracks me up to see children are chidren all over the globe. They all do the same things and all have this noughty side to them!Ishimwe, this precious girl never smiled or laughed, today she did not stop laughing. She was so joyful!Julia and Sam, our friends from the U.K. came along for the day. I felt proud to show off my children to them. It was such a joyful day. Surprised we realized we'd better jump in the car and head back to Kigali to make it before dark. My children, that is who they are, they will be in my heart forver!

Food for Rwaza

Today was such a special day...

Loaded with 50 kilo's (80lbs) of beans, 50kilo's (80lbs) of rice, 25 kilo's (40lbs) of carrots and 10kilo's (18lbs) of onions, a soccer ball, biscuits and meat, I drove up the tiny road to the almost top of the mountain, the home of the Rwaza orphans.

Mama Deo was in tears when I showed her all the food we brought as she humbly shared how they are just preparing the last food they had and they even cooked the leafs of the cabbage ( a part normally not eaten) just to add some "greens" to the meal.

She walked around telling all the children: tonight we have meat with dinner!! Many cheers were heard and mama Deo explained that it has been many many months since they had last eaten a piece of meat...

All of you who have been praying and giving to this place... thank you so much! If you could have been there today... the joys expressed about the meat and general food was just amazing! You are inpacting lifes in a very deep way! thank you.

It was so much fun to play with the kids. Rough play with the boys and kuddling and tickeling with the litteler ones. It was relaxed and the children expressed how comfortable they had become with us. Below is Meredith, a friend from Australia with a six month Salvation Army commitment to Rwanda.

The last food.
Thank you for the soap!

Mama Deo has found four people to be employed and to help with the care of the children as they take a big part of the practical duties on themselves. Sadly enough we learned that people have stolen the new soccerballs and other new cloths and toys, so we are going to find them a day and night guard to ensure the safety and protection of the children and all their belongings. Want to help with that?

Many good tings are happening in and with Rwaza. The kids are amazing and so well mannered. And mama Deo is just amazing! God bless and keep her!