"My Children"

It is always with excitement and joy that I prepare to visit "my children". Yes the 21 orphans in Rwaza, have captured my heart. They have called me "mami" for awhile, everytime it cut through my heart when they would say the word. I tried to protect my heart and not get to attached to these children. I tried to ignore the mother in me screaming at me to release my heart to love them.

The words of my teachers go through my head; "you should never become too attached to those who need your counsil and help, it dilutes your professional observations and diagnosis". Studies have proven that children who received motherly love develop better in over all life and will have healthier families of their own. There are the statistics of those who have grown up under institutional care and the lack of motherly love, they scare me. And I realize that I cannot get attached enough to these children. They need my motherly love, I might be one of the only mother who can give it to them on a consistant basis. They need my heart to be open for them. They need me to teach them the things only a mother can teach. It hurts because I am fully aware of the sufferings these children endure. The lack of basic love, care and food. My heart aches, it would be so easy to remain detached, but I made the choice, my heart adopted 21 children.It was a special day today as we had received care-bears from ...... The children in the vacation bible school had made these bears with the my Rwaza children in mind. Little notes were placed in a pouch on the bear speaking of Jesus his love for the child and a small note from the child who had carefully made the bear. My kids could not comprehend that American children would care for them to make such bears! They clapped for joy and excitement when they realized they are known, they matter and other children pray for them!

Nani and Zoey gave all children a bear. Seeing their servant hearts without any jealousy or envy of the blessing they gave away blessed me all the more!
"I will sleep with my bear tonight 11 year old Emmanuel exclaimed. My note came from Alex, can you send him my photo, I love him so much, you must tell him thank you from me, 14 year old Gilbert was so sweet and excited to know that someone loves him!
Little Otis, 4 yrs old is always playing with a knife. He is such a tough boy, a fighter for sure, yet he embraced his bear and did not let go. You see, boys like him need mothers who love them, even if that means a knife in one hand and a bear in the other.

Though there was great joy, lunch made me wanna cry. Sweet potatos with may be 15 beans per child... A good filler, but no nutrition. The children were sure glad to see the sambosa's (big meat filled dumplings) and banana's. For dinner we had brought them more banana's and eggs.
Nani and Zoey are serving the children banana's.
My noughty daughters made a little fire with some of their friends. It cracks me up to see children are chidren all over the globe. They all do the same things and all have this noughty side to them!Ishimwe, this precious girl never smiled or laughed, today she did not stop laughing. She was so joyful!Julia and Sam, our friends from the U.K. came along for the day. I felt proud to show off my children to them. It was such a joyful day. Surprised we realized we'd better jump in the car and head back to Kigali to make it before dark. My children, that is who they are, they will be in my heart forver!