Traditional Rwandese Wedding 1

Our friends Vince and Claudia got married again. yes again. Many years ago they got married in Europe, as he is from the UK and she lived in Europe also. Her Family was not able to attend as they live in Rwanda. The traditional wedding had not happened and had to be done. So here it is, many years and two daughters later...

Vince (left) and his best man Bram both in traditional clothing, one from Wales, one Rwandese.

As a big surprise Vince made sure he had a cilt with his family colors and the traditional marriage symbols that are part if the wedding costume in Wales. Even I had a traditional dress on for the occasion.

We entered the small tent that was traditionally decorated and greated the bride's family. There was a pleased anticipation of the traditional negotiation part, will they all come to an agreement?
Though the douwery had been paid for (100 cows and some alcoholic drinks) the negotiating started. "We do not have a daughter" the bride's family representatives say. "Yes, you know she is the tall one, I know you have her". "We have a tall muchetcheru (grandma) for you, you can have her! Here she is, stand up for us Mutchecheru!" "No, no," the grooms representatives say, "She is the tall one with the name Claudia, the pretty one."
And on and on they go. Finally they "remember" that they do indeed have a daughter named Claudia. The negotiation of the douwery starts. They want 1000 cows. The grooms representatives give gifts and are able to negotiate down to 100 cows. "We must see all the cows", the bride's representatives say. The representatives from both families leave the tent to walk to the stable that has all the cows. And return within five minutes with good news. " The cows look very good, we accept. Now what are the names of the cows?" A Muzee (very old man) stand up and starts dancing stating all the 100 names! He was asked to do this dance and song again, and he did, again remembering all the names!

The Muzee's from both families drink banana wine from the same pot as a sign of agreement.

Then it was our turn as we had the role of "extended family".

Now the fun part is, that the couple has been married for many years already, that there are no cows as the douwery was paid for in cash, and thus the names of the cows are just a hilarious play! Needless to say that there was lots of laughter through the whole process.

"Is she the one?"

When both families agreed, the beautiful bride was brought into the tent: "Is this the one?"
The dancers danced, the drummers played their drums. The warriors and brides maids all joined the scene. There were soda's to celebrate and gifts were exchanged between the bride and grooms family.

It was phenominal to watch all of this, the role play, the traditional clothing and decorations, the importance of relationship and the realisation that this marriage is more than a man and woman joining their lifes, but two families are being joined, improving the chances of survival during hard times.