The Transformation

There were four of these little ones laying in their blue painted beds. All of them were about 3 to 5 weeks old. Tiny, skinny legs were hiding under some blankets. Big brown eyes trying to focus in on their surrounding. One baby started to cry, it took awhile before someone picked it up. So many babies, so few workers. The baby got tied to the workers back, no kisses, no tender touch, no little games, no, just put on the back, while she ran to yet another child in need of a clean rag (diaper). I cought myself thinking; Could I take all four? They are all so cute. How do I pick just one, it is not fair for the other babies?
I prayed; "Lord, you know the one you want in our family, I must trust you, and not go by my natural way of chosing which is by the looks. Lord I need to feel that I would give my life for the baby you have in mind for me. Would you help me by letting my heart go crazy for the one you want us to adopt? I picked one of the babies up and kissed and adored it, than did the same with the next. They were all so cute, but when I held that fourth little baby girl... my heart tore in two. Overwhelmed with love and need to shelter her I looked at Travis; "This is the one Trav, she is it!" I almost lost it as my heart was so broken for this baby girl.
This little girl, (see photo) cross eyed and tiny as can be was defiinately not the best looking of all. Her neck was infected and gross from all the uncleaned spitt-up. Her bum was bright red from the constant pooping. Not the kind of baby I would naturally be atracted to.Yet I knew that I knew that I knew... she was the one.

Now, six months later, I look at this photo of when we first met Yaida and I look at her now... What a transformation. You know, as soon as she entered our home to live with us, her eye became normal and has never been crossed since! All the infections and gross-ness healed and disappeared in a week. Her irregular and strange poop, turned normal and regular as a result of breasfeeding. She crawls and says words like "poes" (kitty in Dutch), all done and "hi" while she waves.
Just the other day I visited the orphanage and spend some time with the 3 babies that I held and kissed. Angela, Angelo and Joseph are their names. All three are cute as can be. But I look at them and am sad. All they do is lay in their bed. They do not say a word, nor crawl or sit up by themselfs. They just lay intheir beds, day in and day out. No-one to kiss them good night, no-one to endlesly count their fingers and toes. No brothers or sisters to have fun with. No mommy to blow raspberries on the tummy.
My heart breaks for Angelo, Angela and Joseph.
But I must say, that my baby girl Yaida has become the funniest, prettiest and goofiest of all!

African Wild Life Continued

Nani and Zoey with Boefje their cat. Though Boefje is not the wild life I want to mention I must say she is a panther at heart. Hunting after lizards, birds, huge grass hoppers and dragon flies. The part where the panther turns back into cat is that she has to show us all her prey. Leaving them as presents under the dining table or chairs in the living room. Dismanteled this is...
No, the wild life is behind the girls in the photo above.
Every morning 4 or 5 monkeys invade our compound. Though we enjoy watching them and their funny behavior, we can't stand them eating all the fruits and vegies we try to grow in our garden. But oh well, that's why they are "wild" life I guess.

With Didi in the village.

Didi, with some of our staff and some villagers.

Mukangaranga, she just recently received sponsorship after waiting almost 3 years.

Jasmin was in "for a ride."

Cloths for Julienne's family.

Today I got to do my very favorite thing in Rwanda... Handing out treats and cloths to the poorest of the poor. We had our good friend from the Netherlands, Didi Companjen with us, which made the trip extra special. Travis his mom had send us many cloths and flip-flops to hand out, so we made special family bags and handed them to the families we visited today.
Just the smiles and joy on peoples faces is so awesome to watch. It was a great time.

Friends with Compassion

Today I went to the orphanage with my friend Didi from the Netherlands. We held babies, kissed little heads and silently prayed blessings over these beautiful children. While playing outside with my new friends others would come and hang with full body weight on me. I laughed, trying to remain standing. But when four of them do the same thing at the same time it gets a bit much. But how can I say "no" or "stop holding me..." when I read in their eyes starvation. Starvation for love, for a hug, a touch, a smile...

My heart filled with compassion for these children today. My throat had a big lump in it.
I stood by Angela's little bed for awhile. She is Yaida's age. She was one of the four babies I had held and kissed, seeing if she would be the one for our family... This little princess, so beautiful, so innocent makes me check the amount of bedrooms in my house, just one more baby... Then I see little Vera. She might be 6 or 7. She comes and stands next to me in silence. Then she grabs my hand and goes wherever I go. Silent friendship. She sits with me, I tickle her, oh, does she have a gorgeous smile. I find myself thinking..."she would fit too..." My little friend (first photo) is just the sweetest boy. He had wet his pants and I feel my cloths getting wet... but you know what? I honestly can care less. He is a snuggler, I wrap my arms around him and feel an overwhelming love for this little boy. Is this compassion?

What I felt for this young disabled boy can't just be compassion! My heart was hurting, I cried. I could not stop stroking his head, holding his hand, speaking words of love and care. This was a gut-wrenching pain mixed with love. It was hard to leave the room he was in. Was this how Jesus felt when he had compassion on people? People he didn't know, yet loved to the point of giving up his life? If this is what compassion feels like... it hurts. I'm not sure I like this. How much of it can I bear? It is a unique feeling. Not hopeless, not overwhelmed, it is very different in it's sort. I do like the way it makes me love the unlovable. Maybe that is why I can't figure it out, it is a good pain...
Yes, this is more than compassion, this is love... I guess I like this feeling after all.

Recognize these people?

It has been more than a year since we arrived in Rwanda. It has been amazing to watch all of us adjust to this life that is in such stark contrast to the life we lived in Oregon.
in some ways it is so easy to live here. I walk in a store and they either have jelly or they don't, they either have matches or they don't. No choices. Though some more western influenced store owners are starting to carry an imported brand of peanutbuter next to the local one, the choices are still limited. When there is no choice it is almost easier than standing in Safeway's cereal isle and wracking my brain if I should go for the well known brand flakes or just the store brand.
Then there is the frosted, plain with fruit, colored, "organic" and you name it all the kind of flakes to choose from. Life is so much more simplified, I find I appreciate this about my life here.
Nani and Zoey are forced to be creative in their play. They use bottle caps for anything and everything. Sticks, leafs, rocks they become people, animals, baseball bats , basically anything their minds need the items to be. Flowerpeddles are blankets and bugs become giants forming a direct threat to their rock villages and fragile stick people.
Travis, the great socializer, can socialize all he wants as Rwandans believe relationship to be the most important part of life. Yet when local people visit us, I at times have to choose to put a smile on my face, sit, relax and listen to lenghty conversations that in my eyes are a great waste of time... Yet I learned; relationship is everything.
The babies... they don't know any better. They are happy little ones, not having a clue how their life would unfold would we be in the west.

Now along with the lack of choices I want to share a lack of choice that is very hard on Nani and Zoey and thus on us. It is schooling. The school year goes from January through November in Rwanda. Naan and Zo were in a more international school, the best English speaking school in Rwanda. Though accademically they thrived we noticed changes in their characters that greatly concerned us. But with the long school days (7am-3.15 pm) and loads of homework there was little time for correction. But we kept trying hard to work with our girls as this was the only decent schooling option we had. Last May we had to take the girls out of school as we had no money for school fees. What seemed to be a horrible thing turned into someting good. We worked with the girls and their attitudes changed positively! What a good thing! But still... what to do with school. Next month, in September a CHISTIAN INTERNATIONAL school starts with the focus on missionary families. The school will be ran by people from the states and have an American curriculum. The girls, Trav and I are tickled pink about this new schooling option. What an answer to prayer. The girls would learn more about the Lord in school. Proper values and morals will be the norm among students and teachers. Just too good to be true.
Now we are left with the same problem... the money. We received a big love gift allowing us to register the girls for the school, but on our current budget that is as good as it gets. The school will cost us $1600 per child per school year, starting next month. Like any parent, we want what is best for our children. Missionaries or not, the development of our children is no less important.
If you can think of creative ways to help Nani and Zoey, please contact us; Travis@globalfamilyrescue.org

African Wild Life

I get very excited about visitors, especially when I know we'll have a warm fuzzy time together. But this fellow took us by great surprise as he uninvited walked into our hallway.
He was about 5 cm (2,5 inches) long and definately well fed.
After we send him to "spider-heaven" we showed him to our staff who nonchalantly informed us that this was a very dangerous and poisoness spider...
African Wild life in our home...

The Persuit

WARNING: This posting might be confrontational!

Today I read;"May God himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole, make you holy, and whole, put you together -spirit, soul and body- and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ. The One who called you is completely dependable. If he said it, he'll do it!" (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24)

These last few days I have doubted myself, my calling to Rwanda and some of my most amazing experiences I've had with God. To open my bible and read this very scripture gave me mixed feelings.
Allow me to share my thoughts with you;
Blind Bartemeus was silenced by the crowd as he cried out;" Son of David, have mercy on me!" But he knew only Jesus could make him whole, so he took his chance and cried out again. We know the ending; Jesus heard him and healed him.(Luke 18)
(Luke 17) Tells of the ten lepers, they too cried out to Jesus. He send them away telling them to show themselfs to the priests, on their way they were healed.
The lady with the issue of blood; she kept pressing through the crowd, knowing "if I can just touch his cloths I will be healed. She too took her chance and sure enough, she was healed. (Luke 8)
What about the man with the withered hand. Jesus tells him to stretch out his hand... but he has none... yet as he takes his chance his hand gets restored! (Luke 6)
The man wanted deliverance for his demon controlled son, Jairus wanted healing for his daughter, the crowds brought there sick to Jesus...
All these people persuid Jesus. They knew, nothing and no-one could give them back health, sanity and peace. They all took their chances, they risked embarrasment, went against their culture and took a leap of faith.
If it is true that God is the same yesterday, today and always, and that the Holy Spirit lives in me to testify of Jesus, then I want to persue Jesus! I have to pursue Jesus. My wounds from the past... I want them healed. Roots of bitterness... I want them plucked out. My back... I need it healed. If it means to cry out to Jesus to have mercy on me then I will do it. If it means knocking and knocking on God's door until the door opens... I will do it.
I know Jesus still heals, saves and sets free. I am a living testomony of it. Without what God has done for me, I could not be a loving wife, a missionary or even be a decent mom. Maybe because I know AND experienced the saving, healing and deliverance power of Christ (we all know about it but not all have experienced it) that makes me so passionate about the wholeness in Christ. Yet at the same time it also hurts me deep when people don't want it. Though my only responsability is to point people towards Jesus and to testify of what he has done for me (much like Ezekiel), I want to be like one of the friends bringing their sick friend to Jesus. Making sure Jesus would notice their friends condition and do something about it. Sometimes it seems that people say; I know God can heal me, but no thanks, I rather walk on crutches than have my leg healed so that I can be in perfect conditionand leap, jump, run and walk. Really, I am o.k..
Sometimes people say they have to be ready in order for God to heal them... Tell me; how? Really, I don't get it I guess. Ready for what... You have a problem, you need a solution. Am I really to black and white?
Just the other day while in the village an old Muzee came and showed us a huge swelling or growth on his groin. Travis asked him if he believed that God can heal him. He aswered with a yes, but I need the money to go to the hospital to get it removed, he quickly added. At that same moment God told Travis very clearly, that if this man would ask God to heal him, that God would do it right there! Travis told the Muzee this and said;"All you have to do is ask.." The man threw his hands in the air and asked for money to get the growth removed. He didn't want Travis to pray with him. He did not ask God to heal him...
I know that I am sometimes like this man. My knowledge is my crutch. But what if I would just say the words; Jesus, heal me, heal the wounds that are hidden in my heart!" What if you would say these same words... What if you would pursue Jesus for your healing? Or are you more comfortable walking around on crutches or in denial, wanting to be ready?

The passage from 1 Thessalonians gives me hope as well. "Anyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved." (Rom 10:13) Now the word saved in the original Greek is SoZo meaning; being saved, healed, delivered. "...if he said it, He will do it..."

Nani's Day in Mutete 1

Remember Julienne? See my blog posted in July "Julienne Before and After". Many people gathered to help her put mudd on her home. Once dry the cement will be put on the inside and outside of the house. Then the house will last for about 30 years!
Nani was so excited to find out that Travis was going to help Julienne with her house that she wanted to come along to help. Before leaving the house she got her bag ready; a waterbottle, some snacks and lunch, and stickers for the new friends she would make today.

We let Nani use our old camera for the day. She was so excited. She must have taken over 100 shots. Here she showed her friends the photo she took of them.
Julienne's goat just had babies. Nani and Melody were trying to pick some up, but they took of running. Melody and Nani went running after them...

Nani's day in Mutete 2

She did it, she caught the goats! Nani was so excited to hold the baby goats!

This little girl is the daughter of one of our newly sponsored families, Mukangaranga. She must be about 2 years old. She grabbed Nani's hand and didn't let go. Nani and this little girl were seen together the rest of the day. Nani had brought stickers and "decorated" all her new friends. Giving them "earrings" and "nose piercings" Age didn't matter even some Mutchecheru's (old women) has stickers on their hands and faces.
In between her bussy social activities Nani found time to help Travis with the interviews. She was the assigned photographer, a job she really enjoyed.
We prepared her; "Remember you will be the only Mzungu (white) kid today. You know that many of the children will be al over you and want to touch you and play with you..." "Yes I know, I am ok with that, and if I don't like what they do I just tell them 'Oya, ni Simbiza' (No, It is not good)". Nani said.
I am so proud of Nani. Something about the village life makes her want to be there. Something about the children makes her want to bless them with the little she has. My Nani. The compassion I see in her when she is among the poor makes my heart weak. I have a true missionary in training here... It is my desire to one day release her from my family into full time missions. Seeing her being so comfortable among the poor, makes me realize that her missions training school has already started. My Nani, wow...!

Traditional Rwandese Wedding 1

Our friends Vince and Claudia got married again. yes again. Many years ago they got married in Europe, as he is from the UK and she lived in Europe also. Her Family was not able to attend as they live in Rwanda. The traditional wedding had not happened and had to be done. So here it is, many years and two daughters later...

Vince (left) and his best man Bram both in traditional clothing, one from Wales, one Rwandese.

As a big surprise Vince made sure he had a cilt with his family colors and the traditional marriage symbols that are part if the wedding costume in Wales. Even I had a traditional dress on for the occasion.

We entered the small tent that was traditionally decorated and greated the bride's family. There was a pleased anticipation of the traditional negotiation part, will they all come to an agreement?
Though the douwery had been paid for (100 cows and some alcoholic drinks) the negotiating started. "We do not have a daughter" the bride's family representatives say. "Yes, you know she is the tall one, I know you have her". "We have a tall muchetcheru (grandma) for you, you can have her! Here she is, stand up for us Mutchecheru!" "No, no," the grooms representatives say, "She is the tall one with the name Claudia, the pretty one."
And on and on they go. Finally they "remember" that they do indeed have a daughter named Claudia. The negotiation of the douwery starts. They want 1000 cows. The grooms representatives give gifts and are able to negotiate down to 100 cows. "We must see all the cows", the bride's representatives say. The representatives from both families leave the tent to walk to the stable that has all the cows. And return within five minutes with good news. " The cows look very good, we accept. Now what are the names of the cows?" A Muzee (very old man) stand up and starts dancing stating all the 100 names! He was asked to do this dance and song again, and he did, again remembering all the names!

The Muzee's from both families drink banana wine from the same pot as a sign of agreement.

Then it was our turn as we had the role of "extended family".

Now the fun part is, that the couple has been married for many years already, that there are no cows as the douwery was paid for in cash, and thus the names of the cows are just a hilarious play! Needless to say that there was lots of laughter through the whole process.

"Is she the one?"

When both families agreed, the beautiful bride was brought into the tent: "Is this the one?"
The dancers danced, the drummers played their drums. The warriors and brides maids all joined the scene. There were soda's to celebrate and gifts were exchanged between the bride and grooms family.

It was phenominal to watch all of this, the role play, the traditional clothing and decorations, the importance of relationship and the realisation that this marriage is more than a man and woman joining their lifes, but two families are being joined, improving the chances of survival during hard times.

Traditional Rwandese Wedding 2

The warriors and dancers.

The drummers came out, it was goose bump awesome as they made our hearts beat the rythm of their drums. The drummers communicated to the crowd. It was just awesome!

After the traditional part there was the church wedding and reception. Nani, Zoey and Casey had dresses in the same colors, making them feel extra special.

Three princesses.

Zoey, Casey and Nani, making sure Claudia's dress stays clean.

I am also 6 months old now!

Yaida turned six months old! She is the cutest girl ever. "Talking" a lot. Looking at daddy saying Da-Da.

To Be or not to Be

Cyprien, Melody and Travis praying for this ladies broken ankle.

Travis had to go for a meeting to Gaseke. Since we've all been tired and sick this past week, we stayed home. It was very low key for him so he had a chance just to be. No speeches, no program, no kids to look after... just to be. The village kids took advantage of this situation and just hang out with him.
They were all chewing grass, without saying a word, then started tickling eachother with the grass.
A relaxing time in the village, what an opportunity to make new friends.

Then the rain came and it was time not to be and to return to Kigali.

Jasmin 6 months old today!

Exposed Hearts

First Travis tried to comfort this little girl, then Grandma tried, but all without succes. Nani walked to the girl, grabbed her hand and just told her "It's okey, you don't have to cry!" The little girl looked at Nani and stopped crying...
No-one understands better, then one just like you.
When riches, poverty, black or white skin, language differences and educational possibilities are all stripped, the true heart is exposed; Then Friendships happen. Comfort is brought. Joy is given.