Sunday, September 23, 2007

"My Children"

It is always with excitement and joy that I prepare to visit "my children". Yes the 21 orphans in Rwaza, have captured my heart. They have called me "mami" for awhile, everytime it cut through my heart when they would say the word. I tried to protect my heart and not get to attached to these children. I tried to ignore the mother in me screaming at me to release my heart to love them.

The words of my teachers go through my head; "you should never become too attached to those who need your counsil and help, it dilutes your professional observations and diagnosis". Studies have proven that children who received motherly love develop better in over all life and will have healthier families of their own. There are the statistics of those who have grown up under institutional care and the lack of motherly love, they scare me. And I realize that I cannot get attached enough to these children. They need my motherly love, I might be one of the only mother who can give it to them on a consistant basis. They need my heart to be open for them. They need me to teach them the things only a mother can teach. It hurts because I am fully aware of the sufferings these children endure. The lack of basic love, care and food. My heart aches, it would be so easy to remain detached, but I made the choice, my heart adopted 21 children.It was a special day today as we had received care-bears from ...... The children in the vacation bible school had made these bears with the my Rwaza children in mind. Little notes were placed in a pouch on the bear speaking of Jesus his love for the child and a small note from the child who had carefully made the bear. My kids could not comprehend that American children would care for them to make such bears! They clapped for joy and excitement when they realized they are known, they matter and other children pray for them!

Nani and Zoey gave all children a bear. Seeing their servant hearts without any jealousy or envy of the blessing they gave away blessed me all the more!
"I will sleep with my bear tonight 11 year old Emmanuel exclaimed. My note came from Alex, can you send him my photo, I love him so much, you must tell him thank you from me, 14 year old Gilbert was so sweet and excited to know that someone loves him!
Little Otis, 4 yrs old is always playing with a knife. He is such a tough boy, a fighter for sure, yet he embraced his bear and did not let go. You see, boys like him need mothers who love them, even if that means a knife in one hand and a bear in the other.
Though there was great joy, lunch made me wanna cry. Sweet potatos with may be 15 beans per child... A good filler, but no nutrition. The children were sure glad to see the sambosa's (big meat filled dumplings) and banana's. For dinner we had brought them more banana's and eggs.
Nani and Zoey are serving the children banana's.
My noughty daughters made a little fire with some of their friends. It cracks me up to see children are chidren all over the globe. They all do the same things and all have this noughty side to them!Ishimwe, this precious girl never smiled or laughed, today she did not stop laughing. She was so joyful!Julia and Sam, our friends from the U.K. came along for the day. I felt proud to show off my children to them. It was such a joyful day. Surprised we realized we'd better jump in the car and head back to Kigali to make it before dark. My children, that is who they are, they will be in my heart forver!

Monday, September 17, 2007

Happy Birthday Nani!

Yes it is a cliche; they are growing up too fast! But you know, though a cliche, it rings complete truth to me! It truly is amazing, the first words, first steps, first day of school, first loose tooth... Yet it seems there is one thing that remains the same through it all. The day she was born an overwhelming feeling of responsability overtook me, knowing this was my flesh and blood, this tiny baby overwhelmed me with her presence. This feeling of responsability has never left me, not a single minute. As I watch my Nani blow out 8 candles I am all to aware of this protective, responsability emotion and again I feel it overtakes me.

Nani's birthday party was fun. Pizza, play and movie. I just cannot help but to enjoy the colorful display of children in this photo. The nationalities in this photo: South-African, Ugandan, American, Dutch, Russian, U.K. (England) and Rwandan.
The set up of a little home-movie-theathre was a big succes. 5 girls spend the night after watching 2 movies and having loads of candy, surpsingly they all slept by 10.30 pm and didn't come out of bed until 7 am. The next morning, American pancakes and home made syrup for breakfast!
Happy Birthday Nani!

Sunday, September 09, 2007

1998-2007

Remember... 9 years ago around this time we were having lunch with our wedding guests... Remember... Around this time we were at City Hall... Remember, remember, remember.
Happy memmories filled our day as we revisited our wedding day. We thought of all the people that were part of this special day. We thought of our emotions, thoughts and desires for our "Marraige-carreer". And concluded that we are truly amazed at what we have been through, what we have experienced and how we have grown to become who we are today.

We had decided to go on a date to celebrate today. As a lack of things o do in Kigali we wanted to go for a nice workout then dinner at Indian Khazana. After our workout Travis looked at me and said; "Hey I have a surprise" And he showed me the keycard to a hotelroom. Surprised he told me how many of our friends in Kigali had put their money together to bless us with this gift! In the room was a beautiful bouquet of roses and a note from all our friends. We just cried as we wondered what do they see in us that they would bless us like this. They had the care for our kids completely covered and told us to come back whenever... We watched CNN, (we had not seen any world news in over 2 years!) and concluded that we really do not miss anything in the world, the same old news items as always, just with different people. We really enjoyed ourselfs and woke up in the morning because we wanted to, not because we had to! This was after all our first night away from all our children in over 2,5 years!

Thank you Tupo, Ali & Joel, Jean, Lisa & Jeff, Tineke, Shannon, Meredith, Adriaan & Lisette. You guys have no idea how much you all mean to us. Thank you for being our friends!

Thursday, September 06, 2007

another link

Dear freinds,

At www.AstridInRwanda.hyves.nl you can read adittional info on my life and ministry in DUTCH !!! This blog also shows up on the page for easy access. There are additional photos when you click on the photo album link. Enjoy!

Lieve vrienden.

Op www.AstridInRwanda.hyves.nl kan je in het nederlands op de hoogte bijven van het rijlen en zeilen van mijn leven, gezin en ministry. De weblogs zoals je je gewend bent staan er ook in het engels op. Er zijn extra photos in de foto albums op de site. Veel lees plezier en laat effe een berichtje achter!